Funny Quotes
Me? Behave? Seriously!! As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe & had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance & Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine!
Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
“Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.” – Al Bundy
Guys: No Shirt, No Service – Girls: No Shirt, No Charge
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself:everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine;The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
&& he gets better with age.
Girls are like phones.We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,because the average man can see better than he can think.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep– not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
You laugh because I’m different…I laugh cause I just farted!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? — ‘Hold my purse.’
Men are like bank accounts.Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
What you call dog with no legs?Don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky…&& I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. — The lesson is ‘never try‘.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.He told me to quit going to those places.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.
I wanna be a stamp, because that’s the only way i’ll ever get licked…
Never argue with an idiot…People watching won’t be able to tell the difference.
What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck
hello. these quotes really are amazing! every time i post these on my wall..many like it. so unique.:)
i really liked these they are so cool i wish i could have thought of these. but i really want to try to type a qoute on here if thats ok, but i dont know how to do it?
[...] Guys! I added some new Funny Quotes. We are about to go to my grandma’s house for the weekend for some fun and eat some crabs. I [...]
I really like these quotes (:
You did good.
I loved the last one. I was like,, oh gahh (:
haha (:
They are unique, i love different stuff like that (:
So, add me on myspace sometime (;
myspace.com/madilou129
i tought your husband that little thing you like, (;
What I dont comprehend is how youre not even a whole lot a lot more popular than you could possibly be now. Youre just so intelligent. You know so substantially about this topic, produced me consider it from so numerous diverse angles. Its like men and women arent interested unless it has some factor to accomplish with Lady Gaga! Your stuffs excellent. Continue to keep it up!
We just couldnt leave your website before saying that I really enjoyed the high quality info you provide to your visitors? Will be again soon to check up on new posts
Very good weblog. I got a ton of very good information. I?ve been holding an eye on this technology for awhile. It is fascinating how it keeps shifting, however a few of the core parts stay the same.
In regards to dog insurance, it is difficult to get savvy suggestions on the Web. Thanks for sharing your opinions. So, do you have any savvy recommendations on where I can get more useful suggestions on dog insurance on the Internet? Keep up the excellent work!
When men talk dirty to women it’s sexual harassment.
But when women talk dirty to men it’s $2.99 a minute.
I love the one that says wat starts with F and ends whith UCK FIRETRUCK lol that is hilarious
Very nice quotes,
enjoyed a lot…Thanks and keep updating…
AhAhAhA !!!! diSS MAkE ME lAUGH ChOkE !!!!
LMFAO !!!
i love when people think they can get what they cant have
these suck ass….
IM SUPER HORNY LOOK ME UP ON FACEBOOK
gud
these arnt funny at alll -_-
Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.
Ih kindergarden we called it cooties, in high school we call it STD’s
I have watched CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Criminal Minds and Unusual Suspects. I can kill you 18 ways and make it look like Alvin and the Chipmunks did it }:-)
nyssh quotes..!! i liked it .! pls mail me more..!!
haters dont love me but lovers do
“Saying, ”Guns don’t kill people, bullets do,” is like me saying ”i’ve never raped anyone, but my penis has.”
These are funny…….except some are stupid!!!
Your knife my back….means My Gun Your Head!!!