Insult Quotes

I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

I’d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.

All day I thought of you….I was at the zoo.

Don’t hate me because i’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.

For the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?

If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.

You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

I may be fat, but i can exercise, you can’t fix ugly!

They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.

Well, they do say opposites attract…so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I called your boyfriend gay, then he hit me with his purse

If brains were money, you’d be a charity case.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

A chat with you, and death loses its sting!

Your village called, they’re missing an idiot.

You’re so ugly, when you look in a mirror your reflection throws up.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?

Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?

Every one has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’d curse you to look ugly, but I think I missed the rush.

I never knew brains had an off switch

Did you fall from the stupid tree?

Did you have a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission…

You’ve got the perfect weapon against muggers – yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love…unfortunately she too hates it!

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

You started at the bottom…and it’s been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Lady killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Why don’t you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?

When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

You’re a habit I’d like to kick — with both feet.

So now we know why some mammals eat their children…

I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

I’d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.

All day I thought of you….I was at the zoo.

Don’t hate me because i’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.

For the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?

If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.

You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

I may be fat, but i can exercise, you can’t fix ugly!

They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.

Well, they do say opposites attract…so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I called your boyfriend gay, then he hit me with his purse

If brains were money, you’d be a charity case.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

A chat with you, and death loses its sting!

Your village called, they’re missing an idiot.

You’re so ugly, when you look in a mirror your reflection throws up.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?

Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?

Every one has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’d curse you to look ugly, but I think I missed the rush.

I never knew brains had an off switch

Did you fall from the stupid tree?

Did you have a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission…

You’ve got the perfect weapon against muggers – yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love…unfortunately she too hates it!

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

You started at the bottom…and it’s been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Lady killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Why don’t you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?

When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

You’re a habit I’d like to kick — with both feet.

So now we know why some mammals eat their children…

Do tell me all about yourself. I enjoy horror stories.

One should forgive one’s enemies, but not before they are hanged.

Do me a favor. Drop dead.

If laughter is contagious, I think you’ve found the cure.

If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get back change.

Your life had only one fault: it was kind of lousy.

Why don’t you go to a window and lean out too far?

Only a blind man would pinch your butt.

You set constant low personal standards and then consistently fail to achieve them.

I like standing next to you…..for once, no one will blame me for farting.

Yeah, she’s beautiful, but you can’t find her IQ with a flashlight.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It it weren’t for your stupidity, you’d have no personality at all.
-Henny Youngman

Some cause happiness wherever thay go; in your case it’s whenever you go.
-Oscar Wilde

You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

You know honey, you’ve still got your looks–where are you hiding them?

Did anyone ever tell you you were beautiful, and mean it?

Honey, nothing you can say or do will change the fact that you’re ugly.

With all due respect, you’re beginning to bore the hell out of me.

The shit you hear about me might be true, then again, it could be as fake as the bitch who told you.

You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

You may start the shit, but you sure aren’t the shit.

Don’t hate me because i’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.