Jersey Shore Quotes

T-SHIRT TIIIIIME — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Nicole and Ryder… their communications are hysterical. They don’t really talk to each other. They more or less grunt. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

I used to beat girl ups like that in high school. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

FEEL HER BOOBS AND THEN FEEL YOURS. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

Mike’s got ADD — Ronnie, Jersey Shore

Her clothes are already in a ball, let’s just put it in a garbage bag. — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

She brought all these random people home…she’s a girl, you don’t do that. That’s a guy thing. Guy’s do that…not girls. — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

I would say it’s almost, “T-SHIRT TIME” — The Guys, Jersey Shore

What is your name? Situation. The Name of the person? Situation. — Mike, Jersey Shore

I always have a good time when I go out to the clubs…but in the back of my mind I’m thinkin’ I got a girl here, I got pajamas picked out already…this girl wants to bang me! I wanna go back to the crib. — Mike, Jersey Shore

OH YEAH! — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Yo, this is Mike’s wife. He’s finally found one as crazy as him. — Vinny, Jersey Shore

I LOVE CANADA! — Mike, Jersey Shore

It’s not your bed. Who gives a fuck? — Angelina, Jersey Shore

…next thing you know, she’s eating an egg and cheese sandwich with MVP. You can’t find ‘em like that anymore. — Mike, Jersey Shore

It’s wake up the entire house time! OH YEAH WAKE UP YEAH OH YEAH WAKE UP YEAH — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead… Can I find that somewhere? Because I’m not going to go on Match.Com again. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

My v-neck is so fresh that I skiped t-shirt time, like it defied the rules of t-shirt time. — Vinny, Jersey Shore

I think Angelina loves my sloppy seconds. She goes to Vinny and she’s trying to go to what’s-his-name. Like, what are you doing? If you want to make out with me, just ask. I will say yes. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

Okay, hold my earrings. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

Standing in one corner, 4 foot 9, 2 inches with the poof, ‘Snooki’ Polizzi… standing in the other corner at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump. — Ronnie, Jersey Shore

I’m still pretty bitch! — Snooki, Jersey Shore

To call me fake, it’s just blasphemy to talk against the leader like that, in other countries you get hung for that type of shit. — Mike, Jersey Shore

Yo, she so big dawg she broke the bed dawg — Mike, The Situation, Jersey Shore

We got a situation. — Mike, The Situation, Jersey Shore

Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Eww, smells like Lobsters. Are they alive? — Snooki, Jersey Shore

I’m not sure what Lobsters eat, but I think they eat insects or something, so I wan gonna feed them worms — Snooki, Jersey Shore

Oh no! It’s upside down! HE’S GONNA DROWN — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

It goes in Saltwater you idiot — Vinny, Jersey Shore

Well, Charlie’s Dead. CHARLIE’S DEAD. CHARLIE’S FREAKING DEAD NOW. — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

wahhhh. we tried. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

OH YEAH CHAMPAGNE YEAH — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

You’ve got to be real careful, because a grenade can blow up anywhere. So stand clear. Safety first. — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Oh, yeah, in the jacuzzi, yeah! — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Hello. Palace of Love… CABS ARE HERE! — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

It’s all good in the hood. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

I’m not gonna get my nails done with her. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

A little homosexual; Three guys in a hot tub. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

Back in the day, they had a prophecy that one day, there would be a pimp of all pimps, and his name would be; The Situation. — Mike, The Situation, Jersey Shore

This girl is literally on a ship taking off for a different planet right now; Like she’s not even worth talking to. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

We click so well just because we’re the same person. She’s real, I’m real. She likes to party, I like to party. And every time we’re together, pretty much just go crazy and be stupid. — Snooki, Jersey Shore

She acts like she’s 10 years old. She’s like twenty-fucking-three. — Mike, The Situation, Jersey Shore

I’m, like, begging you. I’m trying to have fun, but you’re, like, too much. — Girl, Jersey Shore

Eww, its like a turd that won’t get off your a****** — Snooki, Jersey Shore

Snooki is a drama queen and she likes to get coddled, and I’m not gonna do that. — Mike, The Situation, Jersey Shore

What’d you put in it? Just Chicken…. EW — Snooki & Ryder, Jersey Shore

There’s no way I’m going to Jersey without my hair gel, can’t leave without my gel. — Pauly D, Jersey Shore

Your number one mission is to go out and find the hottest guido and take him home. — Sammi, Jersey Shore

A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heals, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it. — Sammi, Jersey Shore

I’m like a praying mantis, after I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off. — Jwoww, Jersey Shore

I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I’m hot. — Angelina, Jersey Shore

Get ready to party, get out there, get filthy, creepy and weird. — Ronnie, Jersey Shore

MY CAR IS DEAD! IT DIED — Snooki, Jersey Shore

I’m the smallest guy here, FUCK — Vinny, Jersey Shore

32 Comments

  1. New: Jersey Shore Quotes | QuoteKiss on October 14th, 2010

    [...] Guys! I added some new Jersey Shore Quotes, because who doesn’t like the Jersey Shore? Haha, I love that show. Snooki & Jwoww are [...]

  2. StormiLynn on October 16th, 2010

    I Can’t See The Costumers, I Can’t See The ice Cream I’m A Fucking Smurf! -Snooki

  3. Bre. on October 19th, 2010

    You dirty little hamster.-The situation.

  4. Roachh on October 22nd, 2010

    Caller: Can I speak to Angelina please? … Snooki: NO, she died.

    Bahhahaa. Lmfao(:

  5. jasmine on October 23rd, 2010

    Angelina is like the Staten Island Fairy, everyone gets to ride and its free

    Situation

  6. bethh. on November 1st, 2010

    These quotes are friggin hilarious!!!
    Snooki and Jwoww are the s.h.i.t. :)

  7. Jessica on November 27th, 2010

    “I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I’m hot.”-Angelina ”Loose 10 Pounds and Then we can talk(:” -The situation

  8. Nicole on January 10th, 2011

    I find this site to be very useful, yet well structured and maintained. Something that I do not agree with is not giving credit where credit is due. Many if not all of these Jersey Shore Quotes were taken from my site, as they were transcribed by me. The internet is a place to be free, but credit would be nice! Keep up the good work.

  9. seliina skaank. on January 13th, 2011

    bahahahaha ; ohh yeaah, pauuly d, yeaah. <3333333333
    Jersey Shore season 3 is gonnna be amazinqqq<3
    Jwoww && Pauuly are the hoottest in the hooouse !!! <3 (;

  10. ally on February 10th, 2011

    “Angelina go hit the treadmill , actually go hit the elliptical its better for you” – Situation

    “More like the Rob Kardashian of Satin Island

  11. kshell on February 13th, 2011

    “I hate the ocean. It’s all whale sperm.”
    -Snooki

  12. DANIEL on February 23rd, 2011

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH

  13. Karen on March 16th, 2011

    “Where’s the beach?” …….um you re on it……”"where? I still dont see it!” , snooks

  14. Tori on March 28th, 2011

    NEVER fall in love at the Jersey Shore. – Ronnie

  15. emvp on April 4th, 2011

    Never fall in-love at the Jersey Shore – Ronnie

  16. boo on April 11th, 2011

    WOW I LUV THE jersy shore creew is soo awsome i luv them all like i am thire biggest fan ever luv u jersy shore

  17. Morgan on April 14th, 2011

    GTl = Gym Tan Laundry , MVP = Mike Vinny Pauly (:

  18. Morgan on April 14th, 2011

    ”Guy’s are Douchebag’s and i hate then all. They dont know how to treat women , and i feel like this is why the lesbian rate , is going uo in this country. – Snooks (: Truue Chiiz . !!

  19. Danielle on June 9th, 2011

    Were goinq to be eatin by crockidles Yeah! -Pauly D

  20. Sami on June 10th, 2011

    “i feel like this rug is Ron and Sam’s relationship”

  21. soFiiE on June 12th, 2011

    F.O.W.S.T. find out who Sammi’s textiing(;

  22. Brittney on July 8th, 2011

    You forgot one
    Guys just don’t know how to treat a girl. I believe thats why the lesbian rates are going up… -Snookie, Jersey Shore ♥

  23. lexy on July 9th, 2011

    Oh yeah, Pauly is sexy yeah ! :] ♥

  24. Brennaboo on July 17th, 2011

    You can stay here and get your ass beat or you can stay here and get your ass beat either way your gonna get that Ass beat – jwoww

  25. Cheyanne on July 31st, 2011

    HILARIOUS. Snooki & Jwoww ftw! <3

  26. Cheyanne on July 31st, 2011

    All the girls are pretty except Angelina.

  27. Jaylee on August 20th, 2011

    If she still has a basket on her bike, SHE’S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO! -Pauly D
    If she still has parental controls on her tv in the bedroom, SHE’S TO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO! -Pauly D

  28. Jaylee on August 20th, 2011

    TAXI SON AQUI! TAXI SON AQUI! -Pauly D, Jersey Shore in Italy

  29. mee bitchh on September 2nd, 2011

    jersey shoree was the best show ever ! :0

  30. meeeeeeeeeee on October 25th, 2011

    Fist pump, pushup, chapsttick- vinny and pauly d

  31. Haylieeee:) on October 30th, 2011

    Pauly d is sooooooooooo sexxxxxxy ;)

  32. Alex Forcello on March 14th, 2012

    If a person does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.
    Business, that’s easily defined – it’s other’s money.



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