Snooki Quotes

 Name: Nicole Polizzi
 Known As: Snooki
 Birthday: November 23rd, 1987
 Known For: Jersey Shore
 Years active: 2009–Present

Every time I get really excited, like if we go to a club, I have to poop my pants. If we go to a party, I have to poop my pants, if I go on a date, like this, with a hot guy, I have to poop my pants.

Honestly, like who hides in a bush? Only me. I will pee in a bush, I will poop in a bush, I will hide in a bush. I do fucked up shit, I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

Even though we’re tiny bitches, I don’t give a shit … I will fuckin’ attack you like a squirrel monkey.

This is the first night we’re going out to a club. Fucking Ronnie & Sam are coming out. Shocker. Shocker. So what are they gonna do? They’re gonna look at each others eyes and say “I love you, baby,” all night? We’re in fucking Seaside, bitch let’s go to fucking Karma.

I am so excited cause we are going to see the crocadillies.

A crow comes and it starts quacking at us… or not quacking, what does a crow do?

Jen, you’re fuckin’ retarded for agreeing with Angelina… and Angelina, shut the duck up, cause who are you?

I don’t give a fuck. You had my sloppy seconds, good for you… & obviously you’re loosey goose cause he got it in.

Caller: Can I speak to Angelina please? … Snooki: NO, she died.

Snooki: It hurts my vagina… The Situation: Ok, come down.. Snooki: No no, I like it!

This weather is disgusting & I cannot wait to be lying down on a beach with a friggin’ margarita in my hand & my roommates by my side.

I feel like I’m gonna be like a tornado. I’m just gonna go from place to place like destroying it.

I hate guys. I’m turning lesbian. I swear.

Emilo: How many balls do you want? Snooki: I want two… in my face.

I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning.. because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

I was pissed off, like right when I fuckin’ met a guy and I wanted to get his number and hang out with him we had to leave, just my luck.

I’m not pissed off that they put pickles under my bed as a joke, but I’m pissed off that Mike and Pauly wasted two pickles.