T-Shirt Quotes

Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.

A day without sunshine is like night.

How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

I’m the person your mother warned you about.

I’m not as dumb as you look.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless he’s down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

I wear the brains in the family.

There’s no future in time travel.

I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.

Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Us blondes aren’t dumb.

Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

Blonde and proud of it.

Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.

Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

I’m with Stupid.

I don’t need no Educashun.

Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.

Im not perfect but parts of me are.

Work sucks but I need the bucks.

If it’s too loud, you’re too old.

Hey, Im up here ^

Drive defensively, buy a tank!

Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I would put something CLEVER here… but you just wouldn’t get it!

Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.

Try to not let your mind wander, it’s much too small to be out on it’s own.

It’s kind’a hard to show that I care, b e c a u s e I d o n ’ t.

7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.

I’m going off to go find myself. If I’m not back by the time I return, keep me here.